Parenting is a learning experience. There is no rule that once you become a parent you suddenly know everything. In fact, there is no guarantee you will have a clue what you are doing. Parenting is something you have to work at. You have to gather up advice, knowledge and parenting skills so you can use them in your parenting.

Parenting skills come from many places. You have to recognize that how your get parenting skills is not as important as getting them.

Trial and Error

The majority of parenting skills most parents have come from trial and error. A parent tries something, it does not work so they don't try it again or the other way around - they try something, it works so they keep doing it. Learning from mistakes is a part of life and a big part of parenting.

Usually trial and error ends up more funny than anything else. Common sense usually stops it form turning into something horrible or dangerous. Trail and error is a fine way to gain parenting skills and something every parent does.

Other Parents

Other parents are another big source of parenting skills. Most people parent according to how their parents parented them. We learn from what we know. We watch other parents and we learn form them. This is the natural way to learn parenting skills and how you will likely gain most of your parenting skills.

You may even talk to other parents and interact with their children before you even become a parent. You will get cautions and good advice that will help you get ready for parenting though other parents who have experience.

Classes and Research

It is becoming common for parents to attend parenting classes or read books as a way to gain parenting skills. Learning from professionals and experts is a great way to gain skills. They are tried and true methods that are backed with a trusted authority. You can rely on this advice and use it to build up your parenting skills.

Parenting skills are something you learn one way or another. You may even pick them up without ever even knowing it. Many parenting skills are a part of you naturally. They are things that you are born knowing or know form life experience. Others are something that you will instantly pick up once you become a parent. For example, you need no one to teach you the most important parenting skill - love.

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Parenting Tips - Who do You Listen to?
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Joseph_Then]Joseph Then

 

Many parents love to giving various parenting tips. If you are a parent, you may have encountered a number of them. We have to appreciate their advice as it is based on their experience and experience do count in any advises. However, you may be confused as you could be overloaded with tons of tips and advises. The key here is to know which one is suitable for you and which one may not be suitable.

Determining Usefulness

The first step is to determine if you can or want to use a tip. Obviously, you will ruin into tips that you just do not agree with or feel are just not for you. Those you can disregard. However, more often you will likely be unsure if a tip is useful. Try the following to see if those tips are useful for you:

- Ask yourself if it seem reasonable.
- Determine is you would actually do this.
- Think about how it would work for you and your kids.

If you are still not sure if the tip is good, what you can do it give it a try and see the result.

Trial and Error

As mentioned, the next thing to do is try the tips out. See if they do work. If something doesn't work then let it go. If that tip works for your kids, put it in your list of skills.

Sometimes you can not tell if something will work unless you give it a try and there is nothing wrong with that.

Ways to Use Them

Parenting tips come in many forms and you may wonder how the heck to even use a tip. Sometimes you may feel overwhelmed. When you get a good tip try writing it down and when a good time comes up use it. You do not have to feel pressured to change your style to parenting just because they are the best parenting tips in the world. Let them happen naturally. Use them if you need them. Do not impose yourself to apply the tips as you can drive yourself nuts and perhaps for your kids too.

Parenting tips can be nice. Do not immediately write them off. Try to see if you can use them and you may be surprised at what you can learn. It is amazing sometimes just how great parenting tips can be. Just do not let the people think that you are not a good parent because of your different approach to parenting. Parenting tips are given so that they can build up your skillset.

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Effective parenting technique is a puzzling topic that sometimes burnt out experts and became a topic of brewing debates. However, developmental psychologists only began to study parenting and its influences on children in the 1920's. Most experts studying the most effective parenting technique rely on the concept of Diana Baumrind's three parenting styles, in which was found the authoritative parenting style to be the most balanced and healthiest.

Parenting can be seen as broad and limitless, when taking into consideration the differences in family values within the context of the norm, religious concepts, and many other ideals that shape the way parents deal with their children. Yet, failure in parenting cannot be solely blamed on specific instances but is seen as a typology of general practices of parents.

So what is the effective parenting technique? As broad as it might sound, authoritative parenting combines parental responsiveness and parental demandingness vis-à-vis the age of a child. Parental responsiveness describes a parent's intent to foster self-regulation, individuality, and self-assertion by being supportive of and adjusting to a child's needs and desires. Parental demandingness relates more to controlling a child's behavior that is seen as inappropriate, and a parent's willingness to enforce gentle disciplinary efforts, and confronting a child who intentionally disobeys or has committed a mistake.

You can do age-specific activities or discipline in order to set limitations but not to a point of taking full control over your child's life. Parents, themselves, need to acknowledge differences in personality styles, ideas, and life perspectives especially when a child has grown into an adolescent.

Other experts, meanwhile, advocate attachment parenting as the effective parenting technique to use on infants. Dr. William Sears and his wife, Martha, were the first to describe attachment parenting as a style that highly demands responsiveness from parents. This style of parenting negates the popular belief of not responding to a baby's cry immediately so as not to spoil him/her. Attachment parenting advocates believe that crying is a baby's instinctive and survival tool, which is their only means of communication to the world.

Both authoritative and attachment parenting are found to be the most effective parenting styles today, with studies showing positive results from children raised with these styles of parenting. Attachment parenting, in particular, advocates emotional closeness between parents and child to promote self-esteem and social competency later in life. Looking closely, these two styles of effective parenting techniques have similarities in terms of responding to children's needs and correcting ill behaviors in order to raise intellectually, emotionally, and socially-competitive individuals.

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Here are some common parenting mistakes from parents' own behaviour - our children have enormous capacity for growth and learning and absorb from us what we teach through our actions, thinking, words, and attitudes

Many parenting mistakes are the result of not taking enough care with our own self respect. Parenting provides us with many opportunities for self discovery, self reflection and for self improvement.

If we use these opportunities we can also grow up emotionally as our children are growing and developing.

Being Inconsistent

It's really tough on kids when you come down hard one minute and then give in the next. Nothing creates anxiety in children more than lack of consistency. If this is your parenting style then take a big step back and examine your reasons for jumping between yes and no.

* Is it that you have trouble making decisions?

* Are you worried about upsetting your children?

* Is it just laziness?

* Were you too quick to begin with?

* Do you not trust yourself?

* Do you listen to others then wish you hadn't?

If you are strict one day and then appear indifferent the next, how are your children to learn what your expectations are?

Be clear, firm and consistent. The results will speak for themselves.

No routines, schedules or house rules

This makes life so much harder than it needs to be.

Just imagine a train running with no timetable, or waiting for a doctor who makes no appointments. Just imagine having no meal times or celebrating birthdays only when you feel like it.

Chaos reigns instead of order.

We need plans, routines and schedules to organize our days. Children function best when they know ahead of time what to expect, where to be, and how to carry out their plan. Fun and spontaneity occur naturally when everyone is at ease.

Do as I say, not as I do

Is this you? Children absorb what goes on around them. As parents we don't even have to spell it out - they observe, and then act accordingly. Becoming parents brings the responsibility to clean up our own behaviour, to check out our own responses and to amend what falls short.

Take a long, hard look at how you conduct yourself before your children and ask yourself if you are proud of what they see? In no way should your own actions cause you to feel embarrassed in front of your children. This point leads on to the next one.

Untruths, half truths and dishonesty

You are their first and most powerful teacher. Your children can detect untruths and half truths with their detection radar as easily as you can in others.

The problem is that your children look up to you, admire you and need your love. They aren't about to point out to you that they didn't like what they just observed. Instead, they lock it away inside themselves with some shame.

Let your children be the means of providing you with truth serum! Clean up your act and be their hero instead of teaching them about shame and confusion.

Acting like a doormat

Running around after your children teaches them disrespect, intolerance, and laziness. Providing no consequences for bad behaviour teaches them that you don't care so they won't either.

* Give your children strength and stability to look up to.

* Display behaviour that you want them to emulate.

* Let them learn by their actions.

Treat your children as the intelligent beings they are and allow them the opportunities to grow and learn for themselves. If doormat behaviour is your way of doing things, take the time to question why this is and seek help to amend your ways for your family's sake.

Unrealistic Expectations

This is a tough one and it requires thoughtful perusal and open reflection to establish whether our expectations are realistic. Many parents err on either side - some have very low expectations of their children and so inhibit their natural growth, while others are so unrealistic that their children cave in under the pressure.

It's a good idea to have regular conversations with other parents to ascertain whether your expectations are age appropriate. Make sure your expectations match your child's emotional development.

Don't despair if you see yourself in some of these parenting mistakes. They can always be rectified and you can always make choices around your own behaviour. Never be ashamed of saying sorry to your children - or admitting your mistakes to them.

Your children can learn some wonderful ways of coping by watching the steps you take to repair some of your parenting mistakes.

Helen Williams Editor Consistent Parenting Advice.com http://www.consistent-parenting-advice.com/index.html I believe that being a consistent parent is both vitally important and totally necessary to ensure a happy family life. However, becoming a consistent parent is rather like trying to push water uphill if we are not consistent within our selves. This website addresses HOW to adopt a firm, clear, consistent parenting approach, while enabling you to enhance and increase your emotional well-being. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Helen_R_Williams